theROCK

On Being Saints

We are called to be saints. To answer that call, we need to redefine what it means to be a person, not by the world’s standards, but by God’s. To be a saint is to be in unity with Christ, the highest call of our lives that requires reordering our life accordingly. As much as we might feel the need to jump to perfection, God doesn’t expect that of us and neither should we. The journey of holiness is taken one step at a time. 

There is so much to say on holiness, so much to say about closeness to Jesus. But it is important to understand: 

Holiness is not primarily something we achieve. Instead, holiness is something God achieves in us.

I used to think that if I just tried harder I would be holier. And to some extent that is true. I need to rearrange my life to make God my priority. I need to actually be the one to keep my mouth closed instead of gossiping or to physically stop myself from sinning. But holiness is a matter of the heart more than anything. And only God can change that.

Our job isn’t to make ourselves holy. Our job is to draw near to Jesus and let Him make us holy.

It’s not about effort. It’s about surrender. We go to Him with a yielded heart, we give Him the time, we invite Him in, and He will do all the work. But you must make the time. You must sit at His feet and let Him transform your heart.

And I promise you, brothers and sisters, you will never look back. You will never regret it. You will never feel like you’ve wasted your time. We were made to be near Him. So especially now, as we approach Christmas, what will it look like for you to draw near to Him? What does it look like for you to approach Him with a yielded heart?

I’m in the journey with you, friends. And I am so very happy to walk with you if you need a companion on the way. Just send me an email and we’ll set up a time to talk. That’s the best part of my job!

Want to talk? Please reach out to me below.

Claire Ziolkowski

From 0 to Canonization

Our primary call is to be saints. How does that make you feel?

Are you pulled to make your kids (or grandkids) your primary vocation? Our love for them is so incredibly strong. I have to check myself daily. They are such amazing creatures, of course we want to make them our everything!

But you know what I have realized in fighting that battle? I am a significantly better mother, better spouse, when I am close to Jesus. I spent the first years of my kids’ lives pouring through parenting books trying to be the best parent in the world and it wasn’t until I gave up that battle and just focused on being close to Jesus that I finally actually achieved my goal – well not perfection, but I think I’m doing okay.

If we were made for unity with Jesus (which is what being a saint is), doesn’t it just make sense that we would be better in all areas of our life the closer we are to Him? Better parents, but also better spouses and better at our jobs, better friends. Jesus is the standard for life. So the closer we are to Him, the more we look like Him, the better we are able to show up for others and ourselves in our own life.

And I’ve got good news for you. No one is expecting you to go from 0 to canonization overnight. Holiness is a journey. Discipleship (the path to holiness) is a journey. And every single journey begins with one single step. So what is it? What is your one step to start with? What is one way you can prioritize your relationship with God over everything else in your life (yes, even your family)? What is one concrete way you can rearrange your life goals to be about holiness aspirations instead of career aspirations?

God is never outdone in generosity. Meaning, no matter how much we give Him, He will always give us infinitely more in return. So rest assured, any sacrifice you make will be returned one hundredfold. Just remember, we were made for union with God. He doesn’t want you near to Him for His sake, but for yours. He is the answer to everything you desire in life. Go to Him and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37: 4)

Our Primary Vocation

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Your family is your primary vocation”?

Full disclosure, I think it’s time to retire that phrase. In my experience, a misunderstanding of what that actually means has created an idolatry of family life. Let me explain.

When the Church uses the phrase “family as primary vocation,” they are NOT saying “your family is the most important call in your life and everything else comes second.” It sounds like that's what they are saying, but we have to understand what “primary vocation” means in this context. Because for the longest time I thought, and many of us think, the most important thing we will do in our life is be a spouse and a parent, maybe even a grandparent. But this is false. You read that correctly. This is a misunderstanding of what the Church teaches.

Our most important vocation, our highest call, is to holiness. It is to be saints. It is to be completely and perfectly united to Jesus. THAT is our primary vocation. THAT is the most important thing we will do with our life. Everything else in life is meant to serve the purpose of drawing us closer to Jesus. Including our family. So when we talk about family as the “primary vocation,’ we are talking about family as the primary avenue God designed to draw you closer to Him. Just as for our priests, priesthood is their “primary vocation”–the primary way God leads them to Him. Our lower case primary vocation is meant to serve the uppercase Primary Vocation of holiness and becoming saints. The vocation is not the goal. It is the way we reach the goal.

But that isn’t how we are often taught that phrase. Instead, we have taken it to mean that God gave me my family and so dedicating all of myself to my family is actually what God wants. And while that is kind of true (please do dedicate yourself to your family), it also tends to mean that we dedicate ourselves to our family at the expense of dedicating ourselves to God. And that’s where we get it wrong. We skip Mass to go to sporting events because hey, that’s my primary vocation right? This is what I’m supposed to prioritize! We over book our calendars, focusing on the kids, not leaving any time for personal prayer. And we console ourselves that “hey, someday they will be out of the house” or “someday I’ll be retired and have more time for God,” completely ignoring the fact that God wants you to be present to Him now, always, in every stage of life.

When we put our family (or career or religious call for that matter) above our relationship with Jesus, we make an idol of the very thing that was meant to lead us closer to Jesus. We must reorder our lives according to the true order: God first and everything else (including our family) after. It is a hard shift to make. But when we put God first, everything else has a way of falling into place.