Who Seeks Whom?

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About 13 years ago, my wife and I were separated and I was raising teenage and preteen daughters. I was diligently seeking to know the faith that I had learned as a young boy, a seven-year-old boy to be exact, and I was succeeding. I had encountered God in some amazing ways, but I was still driving the boat so to speak. I was in control, seeking Him in the best way I knew how, which was admittedly simple but also effective. 

My son Matt had just returned after a year and a half as a volunteer at an orphanage in Miacatlán, Mexico. I was so happy to have him home. It was great to have an older child home to discuss matters of the day with, to talk sports, to just be with. Skype was great, but this was much better. I was certain that God had sent him to be with me as another sign of just how much he loved me, and that certainly was true, but there was much more.

A few years later on the Feast of the Epiphany, as I was leaving St. Dominic driving down Parish Drive, I realized that more had occurred when Matt came home than God showing me he loved me. I had an epiphany of my own. In a lighting bolt type moment, I realized that God was seeking me.  That God had always been seeking me. That he not only was seeking me, but he was seeking everyone else as well, and my job was simply to let Him find me. Sure, I needed to seek, but the heavy lifting was being done by a God who loves beyond measure.

From that day, I began a journey of allowing God to find me. Sure, I continually tried to take control, but each time I had to relinquish it. I am the beloved, the one the father seeks out. I am not the initiator. The journey continues. My God loves me(us), he loves all of us so much that he seeks each one of us out. Just like the Shepherd and the lost sheep. Best of all, He will not rest until he finds us.


Rough Road Ahead

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Every morning as I drive to work, I make a left turn on to Center Street. I travel about fifty feet and then I see a big orange sign on the side of the road: Rough Road Ahead. Center Street is in bad shape, with lots of bumps and flaws in the asphalt. Drivers take the sign very seriously, and they are prepared to swerve or dodge the various obstacles. The sign doesn’t make the road easier to drive. But what it does it help prepare the cars for the journey ahead.

I think I need a big orange sign for Lent 2019: Rough Road Ahead. I always feel like I start strong. Ash Wednesday is filled with big plans and strategies for the best Lent ever. But then I hit a pothole or a bump in the road. Soon I’m driving on the wrong side of the street, and often times I’m taking a completely different route than I intended.

But my sign will help prepare me. I know that I will have good days and rough days over the next 40. I know that I will not accomplish everything that I set out to do. And that’s okay. I’m ready to swerve a bit, ready to slow down and adjust my speed. This Lent, I’ll lay out my course, but I’ll be ready to take a quick side street. I’ll set my Cruise Control, but I’ll be prepared to put my foot on the brake and slow things down. Ultimately, my sign will help me relax a bit and help me to be prepared for the ride. It will help relax and guide me to my destination without frustration.

I’m ready for my journey, rough roads and all.