theROCK

More Than a Feeling

As a Catholic revert, it often breaks my heart to watch people take the Eucharist so lightly. About 4 years ago, when I still considered myself a non-denominational Christian, I attended an adoration night with my new Catholic friend. I had grown up Catholic, and I was even part of Life Teen in high school, so I was familiar with adoration. I never felt like I actually felt or experienced Jesus though, so, I concluded it couldn’t be true. At this point, I thought whatever denomination you were didn’t really matter, as long as you love Jesus and show that to others.

So, at this adoration night 4 years ago, I remember when the priest brought Jesus around. I thought to myself, “I’ll give this one more chance.” The priest brought the small host in the monstrance over. I looked at Jesus and he looked at me. I still didn’t feel or experience anything spectacular.

In the coming months, I dove head first into Catholic theology, Church history, and studied the Scriptures deeper than I ever had before. I couldn’t figure out what Jesus meant by, “this is my body, this is my blood.” Was he really serious? As I learned things I had never known before, I couldn’t deny the true Presence of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in the Eucharist. It was real. He was really, truly, present. For so many years, I had been wrong. All because I couldn’t “experience” Him there.

So often in my life, I have let my feelings guide my faith. I have learned that faith is far more than a feeling, although sometimes I do experience feelings. Faith also takes understanding, learning, and knowledge. Jesus does not ask us to blindly follow him. I realized encountering Jesus is a gift, not something to be strived after. I had a heart posture of, “Prove that you’re real,” instead of “Jesus, show me who you are and how much you love me.” Now I have a confidence and assurance that my Savior is present, whether or not I can feel him there.

The Merciful Love of God

Divine Mercy Sunday is my favorite Sunday of the whole liturgical year.

Why is it my favorite? Because it points us to the merciful love of God that lies behind the whole Paschal Mystery which we celebrated last week.

The word ‘mercy’ comes from the Latin misericordia, which comes from the two words miseria, meaning wretchedness, misery, or affliction, and cor, meaning heart. The Gospel is the revelation in Jesus Christ of God's mercy to sinners, each and every one of us.

Blood and water flow from the side of Jesus as the soldiers pierce his side as he hangs on the cross. The heart of Jesus is pierced, for you and me. The blood of the covenant forever securing my redemption, and water that cleanses me, as I die with Christ in his death and rise with Him to new life.

This Sunday’s gospel is the story of Thomas putting his fingers in Jesus’ side. He gets a pretty bad wrap but, the truth is, that’s you and me, doubting the love and mercy of God every step of the way.

Jesus really died, really rose again, and in his resurrected body he has the scars of his wounds. In Jesus, the prophecy of Isaiah 53:5 is fulfilled. “But he was wounded for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the punishment that made us whole, and by his wounds we are healed.”

On Divine Mercy Sunday, may we be immersed in the infinite, deep, mercy of God and be reminded no one is too far gone.

Pursue Reconciliation

Jesus’ message in the Matthew 18:15-20 is clear and simple – but far from easy. Resolving conflict can be painful, confusing, and difficult. But Jesus is the divine physician – not only healer and savior of our souls, but also the healer of our earthly relationships. Sometimes pain caused between two people is so harmful, so damaging, and so deep, that it may seem impossible that it can be healed or fixed. But the love of Jesus can and will break every chain, heal every broken heart, and extinguish all bitterness and resentment if we fully entrust ourselves to him.

Telling someone they hurt you takes courage. Asking forgiveness is vulnerable and humbling. It seems so simple, but when emotions get involved, trust is broken, and betrayal and hurt are at the forefront, it can be challenging what steps forward to take. How many times have I taken the easy way out by ignoring the hurt someone caused me, allowing it to fester, and building up resentment towards them? How many times have I also made excuses, trying to justify my actions instead of owning the hurt I caused someone else and asking their forgiveness?

The passage wraps up in a way that’s seemingly unrelated to his first instruction for reconciliation, but I think Jesus is getting at this: the only way Christ can be truly present among us is if we have peace and unity in the body of Christ. Where there is brokenness in the body, healing must occur. For healing to happen, the process of reconciliation must be initiated. But whose responsibility is it? Who is to blame? Should I make the first move or is it on them?

Here’s 4 valuable steps I have learned when it comes to conflict resolution in relationships based on this Biblical passage:

1. Whether you hurt someone or they hurt you, it is both parties’ responsibilities to pursue reconciliation. As the offended, it can be easy to pridefully wait for your accuser to admit their fault. Move past your pride, approach the person, and tell them how and why they hurt you and how that’s affected you. Give them an opportunity to apologize. You MUST do this, even if you think you aren’t ready to forgive them. As the offender, if you know you caused someone damage, approach them to apologize for your actions, recognize the pain that was caused, and ask them what it will take to move forward. And ask their forgiveness. In both cases – take the initiative and don’t expect the other person to do so. Both people can come away with a better understanding of the other person.
2. Tell the person how they hurt you, between just you and them. Leave others out of it. Do not gossip, do not complain about it. If it is helpful, speak to a mentor or a very close friend who will not spread rumors, but is sincerely there to help you and support you through it. Bringing others into the conflict will only hurt and compromise other relationships.
3. Don’t do nothing. “Time heals all wounds” is completely false. Time can help heal, but without pursuit of reconciliation and forgiveness, there can be no real healing. Do not brood over an offense – speak about it directly, privately, and face to face. The longer you wait, the longer the unopened wound goes untreated.
4. And rely on Jesus. Ask Jesus to heal and comfort the person’s soul whom you hurt. And if you have been hurt, pray for your offender, because they are also suffering. Rely on the Divine Physician to do the work that we can’t – which is healing. Fix your eyes on the cross and allow his forgiveness for every offense ever done to wash over you and your current situation.