theROCK

From 0 to Canonization

Our primary call is to be saints. How does that make you feel?

Are you pulled to make your kids (or grandkids) your primary vocation? Our love for them is so incredibly strong. I have to check myself daily. They are such amazing creatures, of course we want to make them our everything!

But you know what I have realized in fighting that battle? I am a significantly better mother, better spouse, when I am close to Jesus. I spent the first years of my kids’ lives pouring through parenting books trying to be the best parent in the world and it wasn’t until I gave up that battle and just focused on being close to Jesus that I finally actually achieved my goal – well not perfection, but I think I’m doing okay.

If we were made for unity with Jesus (which is what being a saint is), doesn’t it just make sense that we would be better in all areas of our life the closer we are to Him? Better parents, but also better spouses and better at our jobs, better friends. Jesus is the standard for life. So the closer we are to Him, the more we look like Him, the better we are able to show up for others and ourselves in our own life.

And I’ve got good news for you. No one is expecting you to go from 0 to canonization overnight. Holiness is a journey. Discipleship (the path to holiness) is a journey. And every single journey begins with one single step. So what is it? What is your one step to start with? What is one way you can prioritize your relationship with God over everything else in your life (yes, even your family)? What is one concrete way you can rearrange your life goals to be about holiness aspirations instead of career aspirations?

God is never outdone in generosity. Meaning, no matter how much we give Him, He will always give us infinitely more in return. So rest assured, any sacrifice you make will be returned one hundredfold. Just remember, we were made for union with God. He doesn’t want you near to Him for His sake, but for yours. He is the answer to everything you desire in life. Go to Him and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37: 4)

Our Primary Vocation

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Your family is your primary vocation”?

Full disclosure, I think it’s time to retire that phrase. In my experience, a misunderstanding of what that actually means has created an idolatry of family life. Let me explain.

When the Church uses the phrase “family as primary vocation,” they are NOT saying “your family is the most important call in your life and everything else comes second.” It sounds like that's what they are saying, but we have to understand what “primary vocation” means in this context. Because for the longest time I thought, and many of us think, the most important thing we will do in our life is be a spouse and a parent, maybe even a grandparent. But this is false. You read that correctly. This is a misunderstanding of what the Church teaches.

Our most important vocation, our highest call, is to holiness. It is to be saints. It is to be completely and perfectly united to Jesus. THAT is our primary vocation. THAT is the most important thing we will do with our life. Everything else in life is meant to serve the purpose of drawing us closer to Jesus. Including our family. So when we talk about family as the “primary vocation,’ we are talking about family as the primary avenue God designed to draw you closer to Him. Just as for our priests, priesthood is their “primary vocation”–the primary way God leads them to Him. Our lower case primary vocation is meant to serve the uppercase Primary Vocation of holiness and becoming saints. The vocation is not the goal. It is the way we reach the goal.

But that isn’t how we are often taught that phrase. Instead, we have taken it to mean that God gave me my family and so dedicating all of myself to my family is actually what God wants. And while that is kind of true (please do dedicate yourself to your family), it also tends to mean that we dedicate ourselves to our family at the expense of dedicating ourselves to God. And that’s where we get it wrong. We skip Mass to go to sporting events because hey, that’s my primary vocation right? This is what I’m supposed to prioritize! We over book our calendars, focusing on the kids, not leaving any time for personal prayer. And we console ourselves that “hey, someday they will be out of the house” or “someday I’ll be retired and have more time for God,” completely ignoring the fact that God wants you to be present to Him now, always, in every stage of life.

When we put our family (or career or religious call for that matter) above our relationship with Jesus, we make an idol of the very thing that was meant to lead us closer to Jesus. We must reorder our lives according to the true order: God first and everything else (including our family) after. It is a hard shift to make. But when we put God first, everything else has a way of falling into place.

The Great Commission

Do you ever have those moments where you find yourself just stopping and thinking, am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing, or did I miss something along the way? I’m not talking in the little things of life but in the big things, the life decision things. I’ve found myself reflecting on that recently. It hasn’t been the first time I’ve found myself thinking about that. I especially grapple with it when I re-engage with the Holy Spirit. In my opinion, this is what discernment and vocation is all about – asking the question and listening to what God tells you. In the Gospel of Matthew 28:19-20, Jesus gave a mandate to His disciples: “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.” It is exactly this phrase that launches my reflection of, “I am following the great commission as best as I can be? What should I be doing differently to better answer the call?”.

As baptized and further confirmed Catholics, we have a moral responsibility to the great commission. Reflect upon the questions that were asked during your Confirmation.
Are you resolved to live fully the Faith?
Are you prepared to listen to the challenges of the Holy Spirit in our world today?
Are you committed to building His Holy Catholic Church?

I reflect again, am I doing what I am supposed to be doing or did I miss something? This is our mission. This is our vocation.

Holy Spirit, please work in me, with me, and through me for your greater glory. Please grant me the gifts I require to do your work.