theROCK

Anger vs. Patience

I am finding myself angry these days. I don’t normally make it a practice to be angry as it is, in my mind, a wasted emotion. Good rarely comes of it. However, I am angry. When I have a moment, I try to get at the core of what is angering me. I think it is the enormity of speculation surrounding us. Speculation that is taken as fact. Speculation leads to gossip and rumor. I find these things very dangerous for a person’s psyche and mental and emotional well-being. There is very little right now that is making sense to me; fact is blurred, logic has been lost, contradiction is the norm. I try to stay the course – essentially lowering my head and moving forward with what facts are in place –and do what I need to do. Speculation is driving me nuts! I am hanging on to what isn’t changing to keep me sane and to stay grounded. My heart hurts. My head hurts. I’ve had enough of this change.

While I could just stop there and wallow in my own pity, I’m not going to. Anger is a vice. It’s corresponding virtue is patience. I am, we are, being called to virtue. Patience just happens to be one of the virtues that is hard for me. I want things done yesterday. Therefore, it makes a lot of sense why this situation is angering me. I want to get on with it, and I can’t. I need to have patience. Patience with God’s plan. Patience with God’s time. This all leads back to the
concept of total surrender. Just when you think you are there, you are not there. I went to one of my spiritual sages, Mother Teresa of Calcutta, to put myself back in check. I found this nugget:

To surrender to God means that we offer him our will, our reason, our life. We do this in pure faith, even if our soul is in darkness. Truly, trials and sufferings are the surest test of blind surrender. Surrender is also a sign of our true love for God and for souls. If we really love others, we must be ready to take their place, to take their sins upon ourselves and to expiate them through penance and continual mortification. We must be living holocausts for those
souls who are most in need. 

Consecrated to Mary

I have created a special place for Mary in my life. When I was in fourth grade, my mom introduced me to the events of Fatima. When she told me of how Mary appeared to the three small children; Lucia, Jacinta, and Francisco, I thought it was the coolest thing ever! I wanted to have that happen to me. To see and hear and talk with Mary. In person. I prayed for it. When I would tell my friends, they thought that was silly all except for one. She and I would talk about what that would have been like. Wouldn’t you be scared? I didn’t think so because it was Mary. Why would anyone be scared of Mary? As I grew older, I wanted, more than anything to be like her. I studied everything I could get my hands on to learn what she was like. I continue to gravitate to books about the apparitions because I simply can’t know enough about Mary. She fascinates me. She amazes me. As I grew and came to better appreciate Scripture and the role of Mary, as well as our faith traditions and rituals that involve Mary, I paid closer attention to how to include her in my life as an advocate and intercessor. Mary knows what it is like to love, to suffer, to feel joy, and to have profound loss. She knows how to abandon oneself completely to God. I want to do that, I want to be completely at His will. She has become my best friend because she has the answers for what needs to be done. Prayer with her is very consoling. She will take my worries, my prayers, my fears, my wonderings, directly to the heart of Jesus. Jesus WILL listen to his mom. Why not go right to her? This is why I have consecrated myself to her and why I have consecrated our school to her.

What does that mean to consecrate yourself to Mary or to Jesus or to God? To be consecrated means to pledge full and complete dependence. We consecrated our school to Mary in October 2016. In doing so, we have said that we will not do anything without it being the Lord's will. When big decisions have to be made, it will be prayed for. When policies are to be written, it will be prayed for. When a direction needs to be taken, it will be prayed for. We will always make an intentional place for Jesus and Mary in our school. This is why our daily prayer ends the way it does, Mary, Mother of God, pray for us. St. Dominic, pray for us.

Long-suffering

I'd like to reflect today on a small little autobiography I've read, rather a memoir, about Mother Teresa entitled “Something Beautiful For God: The Classic Account of Mother Teresa’s Journey Into Compassion” by Malcolm Muggeridge. It was published in 1974, which was important to know while reading the book. Mother was just starting to expand her charity outside the streets of Calcutta at that time. Her mission was just starting to grow. Similar to the daily readings this week. The Good News is starting to spread. Collections of the faithful are starting to take root in the cities where the apostles/disciples teach. Each small group is sharing all they have with one another as they bring people into knowing, loving, and serving Jesus. You are all doing that in your own homes right now. The Church couldn’t be stronger, in my humble opinion. Why? Because we are suffering. Long-suffering is a fruit of the Holy Spirit – it is evidence that God is alive. Suffering is meant to foster a dependence upon God. We continue to feel deeply for those around us. If we didn’t feel deeply, then that means that “we retreated so far into our egos and our flesh, put between us and Him so wide a chasm, that our separation became inexorable” (p132). We care. A lot. What we do matters, deeply. Mother Teresa lived this to her core. This is why she saw everything she did as an offering, something beautiful for God, to turn suffering into joy.

I asked our students who their favorite superhero is. Mother Teresa is certainly one of my superheroes. Her model of vocation, tenacity, compassion, and suffering turned inside out is something I strive for. While I know the poverty she encountered every day is foreign to my own experience, she reminds me that poverty exists in many forms. It is where and how we meet poverty that is the love of Jesus. I don’t know about you, but I am feeling things rather deeply at this moment. A sense of helplessness that I am unable to correct despite my efforts. It is a feeling that I am not unfamiliar with but results in a level of suffering. As my superhero demonstrates, connecting to God is what helps the most. Pray. Pray unceasingly. Pray that we learn what the Lord is teaching us and never to forget the lesson.