theROCK

From 0 to Canonization

Our primary call is to be saints. How does that make you feel?

Are you pulled to make your kids (or grandkids) your primary vocation? Our love for them is so incredibly strong. I have to check myself daily. They are such amazing creatures, of course we want to make them our everything!

But you know what I have realized in fighting that battle? I am a significantly better mother, better spouse, when I am close to Jesus. I spent the first years of my kids’ lives pouring through parenting books trying to be the best parent in the world and it wasn’t until I gave up that battle and just focused on being close to Jesus that I finally actually achieved my goal – well not perfection, but I think I’m doing okay.

If we were made for unity with Jesus (which is what being a saint is), doesn’t it just make sense that we would be better in all areas of our life the closer we are to Him? Better parents, but also better spouses and better at our jobs, better friends. Jesus is the standard for life. So the closer we are to Him, the more we look like Him, the better we are able to show up for others and ourselves in our own life.

And I’ve got good news for you. No one is expecting you to go from 0 to canonization overnight. Holiness is a journey. Discipleship (the path to holiness) is a journey. And every single journey begins with one single step. So what is it? What is your one step to start with? What is one way you can prioritize your relationship with God over everything else in your life (yes, even your family)? What is one concrete way you can rearrange your life goals to be about holiness aspirations instead of career aspirations?

God is never outdone in generosity. Meaning, no matter how much we give Him, He will always give us infinitely more in return. So rest assured, any sacrifice you make will be returned one hundredfold. Just remember, we were made for union with God. He doesn’t want you near to Him for His sake, but for yours. He is the answer to everything you desire in life. Go to Him and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37: 4)

Rejoice in the Lord Always

Gaudete Sunday in Advent is a day to celebrate the joy of anticipating Christmas. The name comes from the Latin word Gaudete, which means, "rejoice." The day's theme is a shift in focus from "The Lord is coming" to "The Lord is near." The excitement for the birth of Jesus was tangible in Mary and Joseph, let us recall our own excitement when we were children, anticipating the beautifully decorated church with lit trees adorning the sanctuary. There is a certain peace in knowing the church draws us into the real reason for Christmas, namely the birth of Jesus. How do we celebrate Advent and the coming of Christ in the form of a newborn child?

Amid the stress of cleaning, baking, decorating, shopping, wrapping, and getting ready for company, often there is little time to experience the joy and peace of Christ’s coming.  Living in a culture of immediate satisfaction, it is very hard for us to slow down, to immerse ourselves in silence and prayer. 

This past summer, as part of a course I took, we attended a 10-day silent Ignatian retreat. We participated in daily Mass, Adoration, and an hour of spiritual direction. Outside of that. . . total silence. Of the five chapels on campus, I found a tiny chapel dedicated to the Annunciation of Mary. A simple but beautiful tabernacle was in the center. I had to silence so many things I carried into the retreat: work, and what was not completed before I left, the news of my younger sister, diagnosed with cancer, and suffering multiple injuries after being hit by a car, and the shock that her 30-year-old son had died unexpectedly. I knew I had to focus on what God had in mind, not what I was carrying. After all, he knew what was heavy on my heart.

I was reminded of today’s scripture from the second reading: “Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition…then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and mind in Christ Jesus” (Phil.4: 6-7). When the 10 days were over, there was an amazing wealth of PEACE in my heart, a peace that I have never experienced. In that peace, I experienced, to this very moment, unexplainable JOY.

It is counter cultural to slow down and place ourselves in silence before Jesus. I invite you dear friends to come to the church or chapel and just sit quietly before the tabernacle and allow God to silence your heart and fill you with JOY. He is waiting, and longs to fill you with his love.

Our Primary Vocation

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Your family is your primary vocation”?

Full disclosure, I think it’s time to retire that phrase. In my experience, a misunderstanding of what that actually means has created an idolatry of family life. Let me explain.

When the Church uses the phrase “family as primary vocation,” they are NOT saying “your family is the most important call in your life and everything else comes second.” It sounds like that's what they are saying, but we have to understand what “primary vocation” means in this context. Because for the longest time I thought, and many of us think, the most important thing we will do in our life is be a spouse and a parent, maybe even a grandparent. But this is false. You read that correctly. This is a misunderstanding of what the Church teaches.

Our most important vocation, our highest call, is to holiness. It is to be saints. It is to be completely and perfectly united to Jesus. THAT is our primary vocation. THAT is the most important thing we will do with our life. Everything else in life is meant to serve the purpose of drawing us closer to Jesus. Including our family. So when we talk about family as the “primary vocation,’ we are talking about family as the primary avenue God designed to draw you closer to Him. Just as for our priests, priesthood is their “primary vocation”–the primary way God leads them to Him. Our lower case primary vocation is meant to serve the uppercase Primary Vocation of holiness and becoming saints. The vocation is not the goal. It is the way we reach the goal.

But that isn’t how we are often taught that phrase. Instead, we have taken it to mean that God gave me my family and so dedicating all of myself to my family is actually what God wants. And while that is kind of true (please do dedicate yourself to your family), it also tends to mean that we dedicate ourselves to our family at the expense of dedicating ourselves to God. And that’s where we get it wrong. We skip Mass to go to sporting events because hey, that’s my primary vocation right? This is what I’m supposed to prioritize! We over book our calendars, focusing on the kids, not leaving any time for personal prayer. And we console ourselves that “hey, someday they will be out of the house” or “someday I’ll be retired and have more time for God,” completely ignoring the fact that God wants you to be present to Him now, always, in every stage of life.

When we put our family (or career or religious call for that matter) above our relationship with Jesus, we make an idol of the very thing that was meant to lead us closer to Jesus. We must reorder our lives according to the true order: God first and everything else (including our family) after. It is a hard shift to make. But when we put God first, everything else has a way of falling into place.