theROCK

Perfection and Mercy

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I have always had really high standards, for myself and for others. I have lived my life demanding excellence because, as my father said growing up: “If you are going to do something, do it to the best of your ability or don’t do it at all.” With this mindset, I have lived a great deal of my life as a perfectionist.

Recently, however, I went through a really difficult stretch of life where I couldn’t be perfect, no matter how hard I tried. Due to a series of very unfortunate events all stacked on top of each other, I was actually just trying to make it out of bed every day and keep my family going. Perfection was replaced with survival.

It was in this time of darkness that God worked a wonderful work of healing within me. He showed me the depth of His mercy. That while He does desire Christ-like excellence from us, He sees our heart, the depth of our love for Him. He sees how hard we are trying. God is as merciful as He is exacting.

This tension, between God’s high standards and His mercy, is present in today’s Gospel. He, the King, is throwing a banquet and casting out invitations to everyone and anyone who wants to come. And yet, he casts out the person who showed up without the appropriate attire. Why? Because God doesn’t just want us to show up. He doesn’t want the bare minimum from us. He wants our best. And sometimes, our best is making it to Church in spit-up stained leggings and T-Shirt because we barely made it out the door. And sometimes our best is as close to perfection as a person can get on earth. He knows the circumstances of our lives. He knows the intention of our heart. He is deeply compassionate and merciful. But we also have to do more than just show up. We have to give Him our very best, whatever that may look like.

Before Destruction . . .

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I was never an athlete in school. Well, unless you count marching band! It was in my freshman year of high school that we won it big down in Florida: we were the grand champions! Thoughts of the next few years began to form in our collective minds. Yet, that was the highest we would ever attain during the next few years other than an occasional 3rd place finish at state level competitions. Not exactly what you would call a great success. 

But how could this be? After all, aside from the continual stream of seniors graduating every year, we had a solid group of people and we were always coaching up the newest members of the band. Ultimately, our woes can probably be summed up in one simple word: pride. While not inherently a bad thing to have, too much pride can, and has been, the undoer of many people - thinking that they can do anything and not have to worry about shortcomings or failures. Truly, pride can make us seem as though we should always, and are destined to be, first. 

The Gospel tells us that the first shall be last. This resonates in reflection upon those moments of pride, of expectation. To think that we should be given something simply because we believe we deserve it! A book I was recently reading has the essential teachings of Mother Theresa day by day. How fitting, then, that the one I read for today states this: “Many people who have possessions, who have many goods and riches, are obsessed with them. They think that the only thing that counts is possessing wealth. That is why it is so difficult for them to walk each moment of each day with God. Too many of their moments are spent preoccupied with money and things.” 

Wealth comes in many different forms, not just money. If we allow ourselves to be too focused upon the wealth we have in terms of material goods and services, we lose sight of the wealth that we should be attempting to grow and keep and build up: a spiritual wealth that is richly abundant in the love of God. When we allow ourselves to build up wealth in a spiritual sense, the rewards are greater than any material good or service we could possibly possess! How wonderful to know that by building up our own spiritual wealth, we are creating ourselves anew and allowing God to work miracles in us! If there was something to be a little prideful about, I would argue that this it! 

Forgiveness

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Forgiveness. That word has probably caused more anxiety, anger, bewilderment, and peace than any other word we use . . . even love. Forgiveness is the “meat and potatoes” of relationship. It is the glue that bonds every heart-felt association we have. How often have we really forgiven someone? How often have we had something terribly important taken from us, and then struggle to forgive the person who has taken it? How often do we equate forgiveness with being weak instead of being strong? How does letting go of the hurt that someone has wrought upon us, produce the only real healing.

I have no specific answer to the many questions I pose. What I do have to offer as a solution is an image, Jesus on the Cross, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” Have you ever been able to say that in full honesty? My answer when I am asked for the meaning of heart wrenching event questions is Jesus on the Cross.
I don’t have polished words to ease someone’s distress, all I have for them is the Cross. If Jesus died for everyone, then he died for those who loved him and stood at the foot of the cross as well as the person who hammered the nails into his flesh. Jesus gave us the meaning, the substance of forgiveness. He did so not just as an example, but as a participation in our action of forgiveness. I want you to understand that the Real Presence of Jesus that we are expounding on in the Eucharist Revival means that in every act of forgiveness, God is there to give us the necessary grace to really forgive, to really forgive and the forget. If you ever have trouble forgiving, just look at the Crucifix. In that mystery is your answer.

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