theROCK

Anger vs. Patience

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I am finding myself angry these days. I don’t normally make it a practice to be angry as it is, in my mind, a wasted emotion. Good rarely comes of it. However, I am angry. When I have a moment, I try to get at the core of what is angering me. I think it is the enormity of speculation surrounding us. Speculation that is taken as fact. Speculation leads to gossip and rumor. I find these things very dangerous for a person’s psyche and mental and emotional well-being. There is very little right now that is making sense to me; fact is blurred, logic has been lost, contradiction is the norm. I try to stay the course – essentially lowering my head and moving forward with what facts are in place –and do what I need to do. Speculation is driving me nuts! I am hanging on to what isn’t changing to keep me sane and to stay grounded. My heart hurts. My head hurts. I’ve had enough of this change.

While I could just stop there and wallow in my own pity, I’m not going to. Anger is a vice. It’s corresponding virtue is patience. I am, we are, being called to virtue. Patience just happens to be one of the virtues that is hard for me. I want things done yesterday. Therefore, it makes a lot of sense why this situation is angering me. I want to get on with it, and I can’t. I need to have patience. Patience with God’s plan. Patience with God’s time. This all leads back to the
concept of total surrender. Just when you think you are there, you are not there. I went to one of my spiritual sages, Mother Teresa of Calcutta, to put myself back in check. I found this nugget:

To surrender to God means that we offer him our will, our reason, our life. We do this in pure faith, even if our soul is in darkness. Truly, trials and sufferings are the surest test of blind surrender. Surrender is also a sign of our true love for God and for souls. If we really love others, we must be ready to take their place, to take their sins upon ourselves and to expiate them through penance and continual mortification. We must be living holocausts for those
souls who are most in need. 

Overwhelmed

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Peace be with you! I am learning the word that is coming across everyone’s lips right now – overwhelmed. Who knew life would look like this? No one knew. I guess this is a reality check for all of us. We really shouldn’t take the work we all do for granted. We all work with one another, together, to help carry the load. This is making us realize how much we need one another. 

I pondered that word “overwhelmed”. When we are overwhelmed, we are also so many other things like worried, anxious, afraid, agitated, and maybe even angry. My daughters like to say “stressed” as a synonym for “overwhelmed”. Being overwhelmed is a natural response to being overstimulated especially when we are inundated by responsibility. You are all being overwhelmed. We will all be overwhelmed until we find our rhythm. If you haven’t set a family
schedule yet, please do, it will help. Here are some additional suggestions for how to defeat being overwhelmed from imom.com.

Pray. Only your heavenly Father knows everything you’re facing in a given day and how it’s making you feel. And He cares. Spending a little time each day clearing your heart and mind and talking it out with Him is a sure-fire way to get back on track.
Exercise. The release of endorphins that comes with physical exercise is a great antidote to stress. When you get wound too tight, go break a sweat! It’ll help you sleep better, too.
Call a friend. Sometimes we just need to talk it out, to vent, or to worry out loud for a second. A wise friend can offer a valuable perspective on your situation and can tell you when you’re
making a mountain out of a molehill.
Channel the energy. Sometimes, when there’s a larger problem looming, the nervous energy created can be put to good use. Try tackling that overstuffed closet or weeding a flower bed. You’ll get something accomplished rather than sitting and stewing.
Soak. There is something positively therapeutic about a hot bath. Even if you think you don’t have time, fill up the tub after you get the kids to bed and just be for half an hour. If you can’t stop the list of responsibilities from rolling through your head the whole time, thumb through a magazine for a diversion.
Count the blessings. Oftentimes, our state of mind is a matter of whether we take a glass-half-full or glass-half-empty approach to life. Sure, the water heater is broken, but you live in a nice warm home where hot water is a regular luxury and will be again once the repairman gets by.
Break it down. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. When the job (or jobs) facing you seems too big to handle, break it down into smaller tasks or phases, and put them in priority order. Then, focus on the first small task as if the others didn’t exist. Say “no.” It’s perfectly acceptable to turn down a request to volunteer or serve when you’ve reached your limit. There is an infinite amount of need in the world, but not every need is one that you’re called to meet. This is tricky for capable women, because when people know you’re a “doer,” they’ll pile on the work. We promise you, if you can’t chair the fall carnival at school, someone else will. The world will continue to turn. Trust us.
Call in reinforcements. If you have a particularly crazy week coming up, and your parents or in-laws are willing, let them help you out. In-town relatives or friends would probably be happy to drive carpool or pick your kids up from a couple of activities to give you some breathing room. Sometimes we don’t have simply because we don’t ask. Lean on your better half. When you’re feeling stretched to the limit, share your heart with your spouse. Together, you may be able to come up with a strategy to redistribute some tasks or
eliminate some worries from your life.
Check out. Occasionally, a person just reaches her limit and has to come up for air in the middle of a busy day. Leave your desk to go for a quick walk around the building, or throw your kids in the car and just go for a drive. Sometimes, all you need is a change of scenery.
Laugh. They don’t call it “the best medicine” for nothing. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed simply because we take ourselves and our lives too seriously. Learn to see the “funny” in your situation and chuckle—it’ll help.
Get comfy. Sometimes the clothes that we associate with certain pressures—like a career—seem to carry the tension in their very fibers. Come home and trade those control-top pantyhose for something you can breathe in. Literally.
Write it down. Lots of people find that journaling about their feelings and fears is helpful in that it helps them organize their thoughts and gives an outlet for expression.
Turn on the tunes. Research shows that 30 minutes of classical music has a calming effect similar to taking 10mg of Valium. Find some soothing music to take the edge off and help you relax.

I also wish to add that you should communicate that you are overwhelmed and allow your children to communicate that need as well. Communicate your need to take a break. Allow your children to communicate the need to take a break. Honor the need. Above all, remember that you are human. You can slow the pace of life. You are in control of what is in your space. If you like something, go with it. If you don’t like something, change it.