theROCK

I Want Jesus

Recently, I was reading a book on Mother Teresa. It told a story from the end of her life that struck me.  

One time when she was in the hospital and too weak to speak, she motioned to one of the sisters to bring her a piece of paper and a pen. Then with great difficulty, she wrote out the words, “I want Jesus.” In the days she was in the hospital, she had not been able to go to Mass and deeply desired to receive the Eucharist so that Jesus could be even closer to her in this time of suffering. 

As I considered this story and today’s Gospel, I found myself thinking about the times I do not put my love of Jesus first, the times I place keeping peace in relationships, my “free time,” sleep, and so many other things before my relationship with Jesus, the one who loves me so much more than I could ever imagine. I found myself remembering the times I have resisted picking up my cross, the times I have avoided leaning into difficult relationships, or have tried to avoid suffering. Oh how I need to repent and turn back to the Lord over and over again!  

As I continued to pray, Jesus then reminded me of the times when I have continued to show up to prayer, when I’ve tried to grow in love for my neighbor, where I’ve tried to embrace suffering and turn to him in it. It has been in these times that Jesus has invited me deeper and ultimately made me more and more into the woman he has created me to be. 

This week I am asking the Lord to help make my prayer more open to his invitations so that I can begin to say “I want Jesus” every day of my life. 

Eyelash to Eyelash with God

I don’t know if you have ever been lost. I have had two terrifying experiences with being lost. One when I was a child. Our whole brood of eight children were being taken to downtown Chicago to visit Santa. We came on the train (called the “L”). It stops at the basement floor of Marshall Fields. Santa was on the fifth floor. We all piled into the elevator along with a boatload of people. I am closest to the doors. The doors open on the ground floor, many depart, including me. I was five years old. Next thing I know I am following the river of people out onto State Street. I am in the middle of the street with everyone else, when a firm hand grips my arm, my mother. Somehow, she noticed I had departed and leaving the others, she ran to get me. To this very day, I have a fear of being left.

My second experience was losing my youngest daughter for a very short time in the State fair creampuff building. Like me, she just wandered off into the next building. I quickly found her, but there were painful seconds of pure panic.

Today’s readings resurrected those feelings of being lost and how lost we would be without God. Hearing today’s words from Jesus that we are so valued, removes any fear. In a homily a while ago, I spoke of how Jesus reconciled us to the Father. The word reconcile comes from the Greek expression which means eyelash-to-eyelash. Jesus has brought us eyelash-to-eyelash with the Father. That is how deeply we are loved. Spend a little time this week alone with God. I don’t mean in prayer or even in contemplation. I mean spend a little time eyelash-to-eyelash with God, if you can. See if an intimacy this close doesn’t remove any fear you have, any fear about anything.

A New Way of Living

Todays gospel passage, Matthew 5:20-37 is a long and tough one. At first, it doesn’t really make much sense. What do you mean Jesus, when you say, “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away,” and “Until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or the smallest part of a letter will pass from the law, until all things have taken place?” Jesus is serious about sin, but he is also serious about how much he loves us. His plan from the beginning of time was to go to the cross in our place.

Religious leaders often confronted Jesus about the law to see what he had to say. Most Jews had a perception that he would get rid of the law, because Jesus did not scrupulously follow those traditions. Jesus was creating a new order – a new way of living that was to be the way of the Kingdom of God. This new way of living is not “fair” like the old covenant law. It is very unfair. This is because Jesus’ love is very unfair. He took the law a step further. In a way, he is saying, “because I have shown you self-sacrificial love, you must also do the same.” His love is unfair. We don’t deserve it. In the same way, we must also choose the cross. He’s talking about living righteously – offering one’s total self on behalf of others. Jesus didn’t come to abolish the law, but to fulfill it. We talked
about this a lot on retreat.

I pray that you accept this high calling and do not take it lightly. Because Jesus gave everything of himself for us, we are also called to do so for the sake of others and for the Kingdom that we long for.